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document.write('<p class="rss-title"><a class="rss-title" href="https://babylonbee.com" target="_blank">Babylon Bee</a><br /><span class="rss-item">Your Trusted Source for Christian News Satire.</span></p>');
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document.write('<li class="rss-item"><a class="rss-item" href="https://babylonbee.com/news/trumps-been-indicted-here-are-the-9-things-that-happen-next/" target="_blank">Trump\'s Been Indicted. Here Are The 9 Things That Happen Next</a><br />');
document.write('<span class="rss-date">Sat, 01 Apr 2023 18:24:25 -0400</span><br />');
document.write('Now that former President Trump has officially been indicted, everyone wants to know how this whole ordeal will unfold. Here are the nine things that ...');
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document.write('<li class="rss-item"><a class="rss-item" href="https://babylonbee.com/news/americans-disappointed-to-learn-biden-presidency-still-not-an-april-fools-prank/" target="_blank">Americans Disappointed To Learn Biden Presidency Not An April Fool\'s Prank</a><br />');
document.write('<span class="rss-date">Sat, 01 Apr 2023 16:28:33 -0400</span><br />');
document.write('U.S. - Americans were deeply disappointed upon learning today that the Biden presidency was not, in fact, an elaborate April Fool\'s joke. ...');
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document.write('<li class="rss-item"><a class="rss-item" href="https://babylonbee.com/news/man-who-exited-elevator-on-wrong-floor-forced-to-re-enter-and-complete-remainder-of-ride-in-shame/" target="_blank">Man Who Exited Elevator On Wrong Floor Forced To Re-Enter And Complete Remainder Of Ride In Shame</a><br />');
document.write('<span class="rss-date">Sat, 01 Apr 2023 12:34:51 -0400</span><br />');
document.write('OVERLAND PARK, KS — A local man brought great shame upon himself and his entire family today after exiting an elevator on the wrong floor, resulting i...');
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document.write('<li class="rss-item"><a class="rss-item" href="https://babylonbee.com/news/aidan-getting-excited-for-annual-chance-to-whack-sister-with-palm-branch/" target="_blank">Aidan Getting Excited For Annual Chance To Whack Sister With Palm Branch</a><br />');
document.write('<span class="rss-date">Sat, 01 Apr 2023 11:03:26 -0400</span><br />');
document.write('AMES, IA — Local six-year-old Aidan Thompson is greatly looking forward to the annual opportunity to spend an entire morning whacking his sister with ...');
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document.write('<li class="rss-item"><a class="rss-item" href="https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-uses-his-one-phone-call-to-ring-up-ron-desantis-and-yell-at-him/" target="_blank">Trump Uses His One Phone Call to Ring Up Ron DeSantis And Yell At Him</a><br />');
document.write('<span class="rss-date">Fri, 31 Mar 2023 17:10:00 -0400</span><br />');
document.write('NEW YORK, NY — Family, friends, and legal advisors of President Donald Trump were confused after learning Trump used his one phone call to contact Flo...');
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document.write('<li class="rss-item"><a class="rss-item" href="https://babylonbee.com/news/if-you-dont-click-this-link-youre-gay/" target="_blank">If You Don\'t Click This Link You\'re Gay</a><br />');
document.write('<span class="rss-date">Fri, 31 Mar 2023 16:24:37 -0400</span><br />');
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document.write('<li class="rss-item"><a class="rss-item" href="https://babylonbee.com/news/scientists-discover-strong-correlation-between-trusting-government-and-eating-paint-chips/" target="_blank">Scientists Discover Strong Correlation Between Trusting Government And Eating Paint Chips</a><br />');
document.write('<span class="rss-date">Fri, 31 Mar 2023 15:54:34 -0400</span><br />');
document.write('PRINCETON, NJ — Scientists have concluded a years-long study confirming the indisputable correlation between people putting trust in their government ...');
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document.write('<li class="rss-item"><a class="rss-item" href="https://babylonbee.com/news/media-warns-this-hitler-fellow-could-cause-violent-backlash-against-nazis/" target="_blank">Media Worried This Hitler Fellow Could Cause Violent Backlash Against Nazis</a><br />');
document.write('<span class="rss-date">Fri, 31 Mar 2023 14:28:42 -0400</span><br />');
document.write('U.S. — Members of the media are calling for caution in their reporting after a German-identified man named Adolf Hitler (he/him) suddenly called the J...');
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document.write('<li class="rss-item"><a class="rss-item" href="https://babylonbee.com/news/pelosi-we-have-to-convict-trump-on-the-charges-to-find-out-what-is-in-them/" target="_blank">Pelosi: \'We Have To Convict Trump On The Charges To Find Out What Is In Them\'</a><br />');
document.write('<span class="rss-date">Fri, 31 Mar 2023 12:42:04 -0400</span><br />');
document.write('WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrat Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi is calling for a quick conviction of Trump so that we can all see what he\'s being charged with....');
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document.write('<li class="rss-item"><a class="rss-item" href="https://babylonbee.com/news/londons-centuries-old-architectural-marvel-perfect-location-for-burger-king-billboard/" target="_blank">Centuries-Old Architectural Marvel Perfect Location For Burger King Billboard</a><br />');
document.write('<span class="rss-date">Fri, 31 Mar 2023 12:21:45 -0400</span><br />');
document.write('LONDON — A successful marketing firm in the U.K. has come up with an ingenious plan, deciding that the centuries-old landmark Piccadilly Circus is an ...');
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